While the phrase “for the love of grape juice” never quite caught on in the popular vernacular, it is a very good reminder of the health benefits of the humble grape. While it takes the tortuous process through which vineyards put their grapes to produce the high levels of resveratrol that give grapes their most modern shot of fame, grapes are not going anywhere. They have been popular since the first wines over 2,000 years ago, and they will continue to be popular, even in their non fermented form. After all, anything that is so purple and so sweet simply can not be denied its place of glory.

If you are a juice drinker, you are no doubt familiar with how much vitamin C so many fruit juices contain. And if you are not, you ought to be tied down and forced to do shots of juice until you turn the color of the fruit it is made out of. And grape juice is as good as any of the rest (and far better than that urine looking apple nonsense). The fact is, grape juice is about as maddeningly healthy as anything you will ever be able to drink, acai and goji notwithstanding.

If you are a fan of grape juice, you are part of an elite group of individuals who associate purple with royalty instead of homosexuality. And as well, the grape lovers of the world are the people who keep the noble tradition of wine from turning into a tiny niche of elitists. After all else is said and done, grapes are for everyone, wealthy plutocrat and common pauper alike. The love of grape juice is the kind of affliction that should strike everyone at some point in their lives, as grapes are simply the best fruit that ever grew on a vine.