Living around someone who deals with depression is never fun. Their attitude is sullen. The glass is always half-empty. When you share joy and excitement, they share doubts and resentment. Living with a depressed spouse is doubly hard. The support, excitement, and joie-de-vivre seem lost from the relationship. The non-depressed spouse often feels like they no longer have an equal partner, but a sad stranger living with them; hardly the person they married.
Since one in eight people will be treated for depression over their lifetime, living with a depressed spouse is a common issue. The trick is learning how to deal with your loved one’s depression, finding the best ways to help them cope, and staying mentally healthy yourself.
Depression is caused by a combination of different factors. Risk factors like family history of depression, stressful life events, and genetic orders all come into play. For the spouse, it is important to help their loved one find the root of their issues. The spouse should make sure no external devices, such as drugs or alcohol, are attributing to their affliction.
Perhaps the hardest part about living with a depressed spouse is lack of communication. A depressed person becomes withdrawn, irritable, and even hurtful. If a spouse says things like, “You don’t love me,” try your best not to take it to heart. Respond by reminding them of their depression, and telling them once they get better, their feelings will change. Seeking out family friends, and asking for them to communicate to the depressed spouse how you are feeling may also help. Patience and encouragement are important.
Outside of encouraging your spouse to seek help and remaining supportive, isn’t a single answer to solving your spouse’s depression. There are no surefire cures. Remember that your mental health is important during this difficult time. Talk to friends, seek independent counseling, and take time by yourself. Try to stay healthy and upbeat. Their depression isn’t yours, and your mental health goes a long way in improving the mindset of a depressed spouse.
